This was my “codigo” when I was asked to speak for a wedding reception some years ago, for a couple that me and wife are both friends with. I was happy to oblige but it was unusual of me that I have come up with the speech the same day as the event, while me and my wife were in the car on our way to the church, doing it via Notes on my iPhone 3G. It was short and sweet but not unforgettable. I meant to prepare a long one, but in my busyness I ended up with just a draft I kept repeating in my mind, the idea being that marriage is not always easy.
While that sounded discouraging, I realized then that it must have meant something, not only for that couple and the people at the reception, but it was as if I was talking, convincing myself. Not as if I have a problematic marriage, but I’d like to think my wife and I have gotten this far because not only are we so madly in love with each other, but because we realized early on that it’s never going to be easy, therefore we need to be ready. And well, pretty much like for anything to work as for any relationships, there has got to be effort.
For that pen to draw or a novel to be written, you’ll have to make the effort to scribble or write. The computer can’t solve a problem without a programmer making the effort to code an app. That beautiful photograph was a moment frozen by a photographer making the effort. And love stories don’t always end up happy, but when they do, there must have been mutual effort. As simple as it sounds, that effort must be combined with the willingness to face whatever life throws at you, the ups and down, through happiness and sadness, together.
My iPhone 3G got stolen so I no longer have the full version of this speech. Oh and I dug deep in my Instagram feed for this note because it saddens me to learn that the bride and groom I wrote the speech for have separated. But I’m not a bit surprised to know they called it quits not because there was no effort or willingness to make the marriage work, they actually did struggling for a long time, before they realized love is no longer the reason.